Television is such a wonderful creation! It babysits children, provides noise for the lonely, and improves mental capabilites with all of its quality programming. (If you believe that, let me sell you a used car!)
Here are some limericks about your (not my) favorite shows!
Dancing With The Stars
On Monday Night Prime Time TV
it's Dancing With The Stars to see
view though we might
no stars in sight
just T and A bouncing so free.
America's Got Talent
Variety is this show's theme
contestants all have the same dream
but judging stinks
as all hope sinks
and Howard still thinks he's supreme.
Glee
The Glee cast continues to sing
used lyrics are all that they bring
They belt them out
"Heard This?" they shout
"Be original" most should sing.
Survivor
Too long has this show been alive
We now know they all will survive
So sink or swim
With her or him
it's sponsors whose pockets will thrive.
True Blood
Vampire and werewolf glitches
fairies and sub-human bitches
lots of bare skin
much sex begin
clothes worn causes channel switches.
The Bachelor
Girls vie for this guy's wedding dance
his love they hope tactics enhance
act as they will
secrets to spill
they really just want in his pants.
The Bachelorette
Guys vie for this girls wedding dance
her love they hope tactics enhance
act as they will
secrets to spill
they really just want in her pants.
(*So What Did You Expect For Free?)
Disclaimer
**If I have ticked anyone off by talking about your favorite television show, it is highly recommended that you get a life!
Yes, I realize True Blood isn't reality TV. Or, is it? Can you sit there, high on your recliner throne, and say without a shadow of a doubt that vampires and werewolves don't exist? How the hell do you know for sure? I mean, they're on the Internet, right? And, not only that, but would Anthony Hopkins ever play a role that wasn't based on an actual character? And, besides that, I'd already written the limerick when I put this all together! So, if you don't like it, well, change the damn channel!
I know Anthony Hopkins has never been on True Blood. I was referring to the movie! See what TV's done to your brain!
If you are a network looking for someone to sue, I can tell you that I'm unemployed, homeless (after losing my double wide trailer), receiving food stamps (for another three weeks, then the disabilty kicks in), have 17 children that are being taken by child services (had to get rid of them somehow),have 27 outstanding warrants for self abuse (no comment), and own an AK-47 with a hair trigger to match my insane thoughts of seeing reality TV producers and network lawyers lining up to get what they all deserve.
Besides that, much love!
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